When Healing Feels Lonely: Finding Light in the Quiet Moments

Shaunterrice Kendrick
Jun 18
2 min read

No one really talks about how lonely healing can be.

They tell you it’s worth it.They tell you to keep going.They tell you it gets better.

And all of that might be true—but in the meantime, there are nights when your phone doesn’t ring, when friends don’t check in, when you feel like the only person trying to hold it all together.

Because healing, especially deep healing, often requires stepping away from what once felt familiar—even when it wasn’t good for you.

You leave toxic relationships.You outgrow certain circles.You create new boundaries.And sometimes, that means walking alone.

🖤 Why Healing Can Feel So Isolating

You’re doing internal work that others can’t always see or understand.
You may be breaking generational patterns, which can feel like you're betraying family norms or cultural expectations.
The version of you that’s emerging may not fit into the life you once had.
You start saying “no” more, and not everyone is comfortable with your growth.
You may not yet have a support system that matches the new version of you.

It’s not your imagination. This part is hard.

But lonely doesn’t mean wrong.And solitude doesn’t mean you’re failing.

💡 How to Get Through the Lonelier Parts of Healing

1. Name the Feeling

Sometimes we’re not just lonely—we’re grieving.Grieving old versions of ourselves. Old habits. People we used to rely on.Acknowledge it. Let it be real. And remind yourself: This is part of the process.

2. Create a Ritual of Connection

When people feel distant, connect with yourself.Start a journal, light a candle in the morning, take a walk without your phone.Find something that brings you back to you—consistently.

3. Find Safe Spaces (Even If They’re Online)

Healing doesn’t always happen in your immediate circle.Look for:

Support groups
Online communities
Mental health forums
Group therapy or peer-led circles

There are people out there walking a path just like yours. You just haven’t met them yet.

4. Lean Into Purpose

When the silence is loud, ask yourself:

“What am I building on the other side of this?”Use the quiet seasons to write, rest, dream, or plan. Not because you’re trying to do more, but because you’re making room for what’s next.

5. Talk to a Professional

Therapists, counselors, coaches—they aren’t just for crisis.They’re for clarity, companionship, and creating a roadmap.It’s okay to say: “I’m lonely in this process. I need support.”